The poetry of Donald Trump. Pause. The rapping rhythm of Theresa May. Pause again. Brexit the musical. Ah, no, surely someone\u2019s having a laugh.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n
Well, yes. This is a good time for satirists, though there\u2019s no clear line between farce and tragedy in the real life script written in the words of our political leaders.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Let\u2019s not spend too much time on Trumpian verse. But hats off to McSweeney\u2019s<\/a> writer, Rob Sears, who has done that murky work for us, delving into the depths of the Trump Twitter Archive and much further back. So far back, before the dawn of Trump tweets, that Sears found a Trump call in 2009 for co-ordinated global action to save the planet<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Sears displays a surgical skill in excising gobsmacking soundbites unearthed from 30 years of the Donald\u2019s deadly simple prose. The result is The Beautiful Poetry of Donald Trump. <\/a>It sounds a painfully painstaking task, but it is executed with a drummer\u2019s ear for \u2018staccato rhythm\u2019. And as the Guardian review<\/a> reveals, Sears meticulously includes the source for every single line. The \u2018Hot little girl in highschool\u2019 title comes from a 1997 chat show where he described how he lost his virginity. The second line of the verse quoted below is what he said to two 14 year old schoolgirls, according to the Chicago Tribune in 1992:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Hot little girl in highschool<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n I\u2019m a very compassionate person (With a very high IQ)<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Just think, in a couple of years, I\u2019ll be dating you<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n It must be a pretty picture, you dropping to your knees<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Come here, I\u2019ll show you how life works. Please<\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n According to the Guardian report Sears finds something close to poetry in the \u2018very compact, distilled phrases that tell you a lot about who he is, in a small number of words\u2019. Oddly, thanks to Sears, I now find an almost eerily Trumpian simplicity to the words of Springtime for Hitler<\/a>, from the classic spoof musical in Mel Brooks 1968 film The Producers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Germany was having trouble<\/p>\n\n\n\n What a sad, sad story<\/p>\n\n\n\n Needed a new leader to restore<\/p>\n\n\n\n Its former glory<\/p>\n\n\n\n Where, oh, where was he?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Where could that man be?<\/p>\n\n\n\n We looked around and then we found<\/p>\n\n\n\n The man for you and me<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n While Trump makes poetry great again (so far there are two books with that title, including one in Norwegian<\/a> which sounds more enjoyable), Theresa May\u2019s election campaign gave irony a new meaning. The inspired Cassetteboy mix clocked up more than a million views on YouTube in the run up to the May catastrophe. Like Sears, the Cassetteboy duo<\/a> wield the surgeon\u2019s knife with satirical skill.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Barely four months on, there\u2019s a double-edged irony in the catchy mash up of May\u2019s own words, with perhaps a little extra twist in the reference to \u2018the many and the few\u2019.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I don\u2019t know why<\/p>\n\n\n\n People vote for me<\/p>\n\n\n\n And let\u2019s not forget<\/p>\n\n\n\n If it\u2019s me you elect<\/p>\n\n\n\n It means a harmful far-right Brexit<\/p>\n\n\n\n Everything we do<\/p>\n\n\n\n As we leave the EU<\/p>\n\n\n\n Will be not for the many<\/p>\n\n\n\n But for the few<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n\n
Sad, sad story<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
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